I'm in the 3rd trimester -- about to pop. I'm miserable and people keep asking "when's he gonna get here?" (though a friend commented today that I look incredible for my 3rd trimester!) ;-) In many ways this is HARDER than pregnancy because pregnancy actually has a due date!!! We still have a nebulous date somewhere between now and then...but we're not sure when "then" will be...but that's ok!! I made a decision during my last actual physical pregnancy that I wasn't going to complain and I was going to enjoy every moment of it (because I knew it would be my last). I'm not saying I was successful at that...come on, I live in West Texas and it was JULY!!! I was HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I truly wanted it to be as enjoyable as growing a 30 lb. watermelon inside your stomach to the point that all you can do is waddle around as said watermelon beats the living daylights out of every organ within his radius all night long every night until he comes out can be.
I made a decision earlier this week that I was not going to wallow in our waiting. I have been letting my life revolve around waiting. This is NOT a quality way of life!!! I realized that I need to embrace EVERY moment that I have here and now and make each of THOSE count!!!
So, we heard nothing yesterday (Thurs.) and I was really pretty ok with it -- even got to give a little pep talk to a fellow "RR (Reece's Rainbow) wait-er"!! This week has pretty well confirmed that Sam (I'm dropping the "Yuri" since neither of those are his real name, I don't need to prolong it -- sorry for those of you who have grown accustomed & attached to Yuri!) will not be coming on vacation with us and we might very well not be traveling before August to even meet him. It's not out of the realm of possibility, but it's not probable.
Not good news to this impatient Momma, but I've actually surprised myself a bit with how ok I am with waiting. I have given this issue to the Lord and for some reason, His answer right now is "wait." (could it possibly be because I'm so very incredibly "anti-wait" right now???)
So tonight I was reading....drumroll please..."Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young (anyone guess that prior to reading it? I'm feeling a little predictable!) and I read today's entry (will post that in a sec*) and then went back and read the one from the 22nd because I missed it. Get this: "When things don't go as you would like, accept the situation immediately. If you indulge in feelings of regret, they can easily spill over the line into resentment. Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under My mighty hand. Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding."
Ok, ready? Here's today's...but just the second paragraph: *"When you turn from your problems to My Presence, your load is immediately lighter. Circumstances may not have changed, but we carry your burdens together. Your compulsion to 'fix' everything gives way to deep, satisfying connection with Me. Together we can handle whatever this day brings."
I'm telling you, people, this little devotional book is TOTALLY RELEVANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So there you have it. God's got this. I don't. I'm trusting Him. He will work it out exactly as it's supposed to be worked out. It's probably not about me...but very possibly about those in my circle: Sam, our kids, our families, our friends, strangers even. Maybe we're not on a plane right now because the people that WE need to minister to are going to be on a later plane. Maybe we're not in the country right now because there's some outbreak of illness that the Lord's sparing us from. Maybe our kids need us here for something that they're going to be facing in the next few weeks and we shouldn't be away from them for that time. Maybe....well, you get the drift. The possibilities are endless...
Now, I'm not going to lie. I dirt prayed today -- a number of times. I prayed that the person who is supposed to sign our documents and give us our appointment date will not be able to eat, drink or sleep until they have signed them and have delivered them to the person/place that they need to be for us to get it all issued on Monday -- even if that means working over the weekend, which, I think, is like a cardinal sin in their country, they DO like their holidays!! 8-)
So here I sit at my computer, ready to head to bed (possibly even a bit early tonight after MANY late nights of nearly fretting) truly completely peaceful and resting in the arms of my very capable, completely sovereign, fully-aware-of-our-circumstances Lord and Savior. Ahhhh....it feels good to be here.
Thank you for your prayers and concern...I love it when you ask about our son!!